HELLO TO YOU MY READER!

Li-Hua, Fang-Hua, Mei-Zhen, Chu-Hua, and Da-Xia (now all gone home)

Yes this is splendid news is it not? Metody is back here with you once more. I know where it is you thinks, such as- ‘This fellow he is here, there and then not here again!’
For this let me apologise, as Metody was once again in trouble with the British policeman. You will remember yes that Metody he drive with fine Volkswagen van to help anyone with ‘Logistics’ or so to say, help move stuff? Well everything is wery nice and Metody earns quite a lot of money I think, considering Britain is fucked up. But here this is where it begins to go wrong for me.
Last August, wery important businessman in Llanelli Mr. Schofield ask Metody if he will pick up five ladies, from Cardiff docks, who is going to work in his club as for dancing. He offers Metody a wery nice deal for picking up these ladies, from ship that sail from Douala in Cameroon.
Metody meets with them and imagine his surprise when they is not black women but is Chinese women, it is showing how bad education is with Poland, as he is not knowing there is Chinese there in Africa, the same as Red Indians in America as well as Birmingham I think.
Anyway all is fine, even though four of ladies is not looking so happy, and one is being wery tired. Metody understands what is like to be away from home so does not ask if ladies miss home and family, and besides there is wery good takeaway for Chinese in Llanelli, so he thinks it will not be so bad for them. So ladies are on van, and Metody he drives along M4 back to Llanelli, when next thing he sees blue flashing light, and yes it is policeman and policewoman.
To cut story short it is that the ladies has no work permit (unlike Metody) but is also not even knowing that they are not still in Cameroon, even though it is quite cold that day. Metody try to explain to police that Mr. Schofield say ladies are just to work in bar in Llanelli, that this is same as fair trade coffee! But it does not go so well, and all is to cock. Police say Metody is sex slaver!! Police is racialists and cal Metody Borat! Metod tired of hearing on Borat. This fellow Sasha Alan Coren makes crude stereotyping of Eastern European for cheap laugh. Pole does not drinking horse urine. Horse urine is waste product and all is good for is make back hair soft on woman.

Anyway Metody held until trial, which was yesterday, but Metody get off as jury think that was what in legal parlance is known as ‘dupe’ and indeed is not sex slaver. However Mr. Schofield it seem is wery much so, and he is to be locked up on his own say newspapers.
When Metody get out however, he find van is impounded by policemen, as they is saying is not safe or road-worthy for anyone to be driving, and they will crush him.
Metody however is bouncing like ball, and has now another job given to him by man that was met in Swansea jail. Metody now work as costermonger in market in Swansea, selling oranges and onion to wives, and is sleeping in a makeshift den in woodland near the Jack Nicklaus golf course development in Llanelli, all is fine.